and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
There's even glitter on my cock...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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