don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize