do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
