Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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