Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
