My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
