it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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