walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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