i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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