I want you more than these girls want KFC
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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