What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize