I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
