I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
