Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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