What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
