So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize