that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
