Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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