JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
