At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
