so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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