i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
