As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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