i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
