VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
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I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
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When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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