I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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