I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
