I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
