He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
