That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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