The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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