But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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