There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
