kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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