C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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