she woke up with a sticky ear
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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