My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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