who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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