i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i was born a porn star she said
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
