Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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