So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
