wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
