Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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