do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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