Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We had sex on a dog bed..
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
