Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
