Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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