when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
