why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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