a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize