I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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