When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
