your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
