Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
