Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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