I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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