you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
