Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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