zippers are such a cool invention
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
