I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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