Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
