just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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