all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
