I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
