Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You can't motorboat a personality
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
