It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
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Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
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Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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