"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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