why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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