I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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