Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
