i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.