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• (248): View more from Michigan

  i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine

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• (212): View more from New York

  i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  I thought Christmas was going to come before I did

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• (949): View more from California

  Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.

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• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah

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• (714): View more from California

  She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick

  (1-714): View more from California

  Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!

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• 

  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4

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• (631): View more from New York

  Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.

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