Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?