Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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