Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize